I hate sleeping alone at night...I know how you feel baby....I wish I could be there for you...I'm thinking about you this morning...and always...I miss your lips baby...

It's so hard not to call you over the weekend. I had dreams about you all night last night. They were all sexual. pretty much a repeat of the last time we were together....only you were telling me that you love me over and over. I don't know if you truely understand how much I love you. I have that last letter you wrote me and a cd I bought you that I'm going to try to drop off at your house tommorow...you're going to love it.
I hope you're having a good weekend....I'm thinking about you always...

...I'm so glad you answered your phone...I held out until 4:30....and then had to take a chance...
You're going down south this weekend to work on your moms house. I'm so insecure about you being out there...I want to keep you close to me...I want you here if I can get out to see you. But....I'm so happy you still want to see me.
I bought you a CD when I was at wal-mart buying the safe...I'll try to drop it off asap....I really hope you have a good weekend....I will be thinking about you.

I'm so desperate....omg....I want to call him.....I miss the comfort he gives me....it's going to take everything I've got to stay away....I don't think I can do it.
LOL....have to laugh at myself....it's going to be a hard day and a even more difficult weekend....
*sigh*
I miss him...

Well....today is Friday....and it sucks. I realize this blog is public and I knew that when I started it....so if anyone is reading this and is wondering WTF this is about....it's about my complicated life and the love of my life that I can't be with....at leastnot right now. The story of what happened to me and my love...it's complicated. I'm sure I'll get into it at some point. But for right now...
We met two years ago on a website....we were both there for reasons...well....lets just say it's a self help website with a support group....and we really got into supporting each other.:)
We both live in the same state....and less than 30 min. apart. So when we got talkin and realized we wanted to meet....we just did and everything got complicated from there.....and we just can't be together right now....well....we could spend time together here and there....but we can't live together. And it's hard to find time to go out. I'm up for it but he's giving me the *I need more* and he is tired of spending most of his time alone...and I understand. But we knew we couldn't be together right now....and I think that someday we will be together. And I want him to know.....that I'M STILL HERE!!!....and that I'm not going anywere....and that I'm thinking of him always.....and i want a record of it so someday he can see that I was here all along. I know he loves me....I know it will happen. Ever have a love like that? You just know when it's right....and this is it....this is the one for me.
I want to call him so bad....but for now....I'll give him his space.