so....the funny thing is....the technicalities. You are actually still married to the ex.(I've always known...just adding info here) So....she's still your wife....and no I don't really care. I think it's probably better that way right now. The only way this would bother me is if I wanted to marry you right now. And right now....not a option.
She says she has brain cancer. It will sure be interesting to find out if the manipulative bitch really has a medical condition at all. I am guessing.....probably not. And ask me if I care....I don't.
All I care about is me and what I get. Selfish?
You know better. lol
I didn't get to see you because the *ex* was in town...can't have my car in your driveway and have her drive by....but...that was yesterday....and I will be there for sure tommorow....finally!
I'll be there! And I'm still here!

....it doesn't end last night. It was SO good to see you this morning....even if it was just for a few minutes. I'm so sorry about last night....
I have mixed feelings about the ex though. It will be interesting to see what her diagnosis will be.
You spent the night with her....in your truck....and got home just minutes after I left your house. Figures....lol
The ex says she has a tumor on her brain....right behind her eye. And you told me she said it was cancer. But she hasn't had a ton of tests yet.....so we'll see.
Totally cool you were with her all night. I know you didn't have sex with her.....but would I have minded if you did? Not really. I have shared you with her before.....even if you did have to put her on her stomach and think about me to do it. Good times....good memories baby.
Now I will be able to destress.....and cope with life. I thought I was going to die for a minute.....it's funny how 20 minutes in your arms changes everything. I love you baby...I'm planning on spending the day with you tommorow....if I can arrange it...I'm glad you're on nights! I'm happy inside.

You're killing me. LOL
I had the worst weekend....it was stressful....bad....you worked 60 hours in 4 days and I stayed home and cried in your pillow.
Well....finally after the weekend...you sleep and call me and want me to come over....but hell...I had a few things to do and I thought if I came over later we could spend more time together. You had to go over the hill to get your truck back from your ex who borrowed it....to haul her dogs...and you said you'd call me on your way back.
No call from you. Hmmmm.....I figured you'd be home....you knew I was coming....I got there at 11pm and you wern't there.
I even brought your pillow.....that once again I've decided to keep. After all....I really bonded with it last night.
What you don't know....I didn't have any plans or anywhere I needed to be...so I slept in your driveway all night. And left about 6am.
It will be interedting to find out where you've been....I doubt it was with your ex(like most people would think) since you can't be around your kids....you can't go in the house. So....what is it? Are you lying to me? Is there someone else? You know that won't make a difference in the way I feel....I'll still be here.
I can't wait to hear from you and see if you tell me you were at home.... I almost want you to lie to me...because then I will know for sure theres more you're not telling me.
You can tell me sweetie....it'll be okay....I just want to know whats up so I can kick your ass....lol
Love you baby

It's been a long weekend....wish we could have spent it together. As you know by my text messages....I was very much with you in my mind...I miss you baby and hope to see you SOON. My heart aches for you....and I hope we can spend next Easter together.
I guess it's possible! right? lol
Just thinking positive....you are forever my eternal optimist....even though you're slippin lately...I know you have it within you....I always loved that about you. It hurts me to be apart...I'm trying to stay busy to deal with it...and thinking about you makes me feel better. I love you baby.

Last night I called you at 5:30 and you were on the phone with your ex. And it was during the reunification process with your kids. When the ex asked you who was calling....you told her a different name...and then later told me....that I can't call you anymore on Tuesday and Thursday nights when you're working on getting visitation with your kids....and that I've already cost you the past 6 months with them.
In a way....I feel really really bad. I feel like I'm to blame for so much of what has happened.If you hadn't met me....you'd still be married and with your family(maybe) and most likely wouldn't have spent any time in prison....but then....how much of tht is really MY fault? I don't control everything that happens.
Yes...6 months ago when you were having your very first visitation with your kids...I called and your ex was holding your phone with my name on the caller ID. THAT wasn't my fault OR very smart on your part. And she got pissed and wouldn't let you see the kids....just because she blames ME for everything. Shes the crazy one....shes the controling one...
I don't want to call you and screw things up for you...so....I guess I need to back off and give you your space.
*sigh*....you know how I feel...